Your kids are already fucking, stop blaming a vaccine. (this uses profanity for a point)

 

Look, nothing gets under my skin more than the excuses people use to not vaccinate themselves or their children. We have entire movements in this country that do nothing more than scream, “It’s about the children.” Well, Nursie poo calls BS. Seriously, BS. You give deify to a fetus while you fail to provide basic care for your kids and when you do, it is in the form of making adults suffer so that the “children” will be protected. Not every adult wants to raise kids or deal with them, yet you insist that we do, so here is my advice.

We already know that you need to vaccinate your children…don’t argue, just do it. Gardasil is effective in stopping the spread of genital warts, which for girls, can quickly lead to cervical cancer. If you think back to biology, there is an epithelial (type of cell) junction. If the virus lands there, it wreaks havoc on the cells, and they multiply rapidly, thus a tumor. Why in the hell would you wish cancer on your daughter? Everyone caries dormant versions of HPV, so why not vaccinate? In young men, they may develop penile cancer or rectal cancer, if they receive anal sex. Oh boy, Nursie talked about sex…

That’s correct. It is time to have that conversation and talk about the importance of intimacy, STD prevention, pregnancy prevention, and answer questions. It is time to have frank discussions before their first period and before boys start the surge of puberty (trust me if you have a teenage male, you will know). Talk to them and tell them every sordid detail and answer all questions honestly. “But Nursie, they will want to go have sex.” Maybe, but I doubt it. When I was first in puberty, I dreamed about it a lot. I was also awkward and even though I was trying as hard (yeah pun) as I could, there was no way I was having anything more than maybe a kiss. It doesn’t turn into a god damn orgy because you talk about it and explain stuff. It is far better that your son or daughter comes home and says…oops, I had sex, but we wore protection and yeah, no worry, instead of fumbling in a back seat where she gets pregnant, and he gets the clap. Worse is your son and his boyfriend doing it and one ending up with HIV. Why do we penalize people for sex? Simple, we are a sex-negative puritanical society that thinks no one should have pleasure in life. Ugh…this crap makes me see red.

Ok, so Nursie, we don’t want our kids having sex yet…ya know intimacy. Well mom and dad, if you talk to them about the feelings that may develop in a sexual relationship, they may make their first decent adult decision and say…eh we can wait. Giving a kid some latitude to make those choices early is the best answer. If they screw up, well they screw up. I bet you weren’t perfect growing up, but being a parent is being a mentor, and that means helping them move forward.

If you can’t have these discussions, there are places that can. The one that comes to mind is Planned Parenthood or local LGBT Centers to answer questions that may not be easy for a heterosexual parent to answer. And no, for Christ’s sake, they don’t just do abortions…geez. They also provide family planning, condoms, birth control, and counseling. They may be able to help your child avoid a mistake if you can’t.

I am tough on sexual education. I have had to discuss very devastating diagnosis with folks as well as some that were just annoying. Here are some examples:

A grown man who “cheated” on his wife and thought he had an STD because the “lady” he picked up in Thailand looked, “sketchy.” Initially concerning to me since 75-80% of prostitutes in Thailand have HIV. Much more relieved to hear all he got was a hand job, I about fell off the stool laughing. But it happens in areas with high religious influences that do not discuss sex and sexuality.

The teenagers that came in because one had a drip. He was diagnosed with chlamydia. His friend said they both did the same girl and they wore a condom. When questioned, it was finally revealed that the friend with no symptoms had warned the condom out of the wrapper. Because they had only one, the other friend had rolled it inside out onto his penis, because he didn’t want something that had touched another dude’s penis. So basically, his penis swam in that bacteria the whole time.

Would you be proud of your teens for that level of ignorance? Just protect yourself and stop foisting moral judgment on sex and vaccines. If we really care about our children as much as is ranted about in every political venue, then practice what is preached. Talk with them and give them the same level of importance that is given as the fetus that is protected so fervently. In most cases, sex was used to make it, so why not talk about it?