I am going to call it what it is. I was back in school and stressed out like a playa about to go on Maury Povich. I managed to work out before I started school and was active and then—bam. I went into the study, sleep, work, class cycle; wash, rinse, repeat until graduation. In the end, the “freshman 15” was more like 35 pounds later, and I was stuck, and I still am. Once you develop a bad habit, it is almost impossible to change. Trust me, I have had a few, and most of them stick whether you want them or not.

Convenience is key with a busy schedule, or so we think. I fell into this trap. We think, if I can open a can or a box, that’s great. Even better is the drive-thru on the way home. The drive-thru should be your first clue on promoting laziness. Thru? We’re too lazy to spell the entire word. (Just like the people who use c, u, and r as words…) Are they charging by the letter?

It is actually a symbol of how we regard fast food as a lazy convenience. I know everyone loves McDonalds Fries or a Whopper (especially Igor) (I hate Burger King, just an FYI). Super-frequent fast food is not healthy for all the reasons you know and more. Mostly, the amount of salt and carbohydrates in the food is the killer (Plus, all that meat filler has to go somewhere, Karen). The portion size when you “supersize” is way too much in one sitting (And that diet coke you wash it down with doesn’t counteract the Triple Whopper and extra-large fries you scarfed down). Sometimes well over 1500 calories for each meal, which on the surface isn’t too bad, until you sit on your fat ass all the time and break a sweat walking to the fridge or lift the remote.

Trust me, I have never been rail-thin, nor am I now. I have yo-yoed my weight just like you do and still do. I have gained my winter fat (even though at this stage I have enough fat to make a second me) soon with better weather I will feel like being active again, to a point. The damage is done. I will once again be fighting my weight and my physical conditioning to maintain a healthy balance in my body.

Why do you care? You should care about yourself because we all are like this to some point (Except Igor, that boy could eat a full cow, belch, and not gain an ounce. I hear the word dessert, and I gain 5 pounds) (You sure know how to make a gurl blush). We don’t have a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and our bodies. Since we don’t, it leads to this effect of an inconsistent weight. But then the fad diets do the same thing. Why do we diet then? It is simple and complex at the same time. The simple reason is that we want to feel better and the more faddish the diet is the better we feel (Also that convince factor *cough cough* Keto diet or that juicing bs). I mean who wouldn’t like to start a diet in February and have all that nasty weight off for bikini weather? (I look like shit in a bikini or a speedo for that matter). The complex is that we may push ourselves through any fad diet to drop the pounds, but we are too programmed to continue the diet and some of us, no matter how hard we try, revert to old habits and boom, back comes the weight and usually with a little extra. I think the body does this to teach us a lesson. Although there is no scientific proof of this, many physiologists believe that the body has a metabolism “set point” like a thermostat. The body strives to maintain a certain weight.

So, are you stuck with a high weight? Maybe. If you are unable to make incremental changes, you may end up quickly back to where you were. This is Nursie poo’s problem. I am impatient as hell and just want to be thinner right now, but it doesn’t work that way. If you are like this, then stay away from fad diets. In fact, even if you aren’t like this, stay away from fad diets. You can make your situation worse and actually end up with increased weight.

We all know what works. It is not a magic pill or a fad diet, or those damn plastic wrap and goo bullshit things people are peddling like Anna Nicole did for TrimSpa baby. While some folks lose an amazing amount of weight on Keto or Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem, a lot more people end up with a very expensive and unfollowable diet that we are unable to do except in spurts that do not benefit us at all.

This is bad because we fat shame like crazy. There’s the, “Oh, you just need more willpower.” And some say, “that much fat is unhealthy.” Then the, “you just need to exercise more.” All this leads to unhealthy body images and potential eating disorders. It can also lead to depression. If this isn’t you, keep it to yourself. That person may have healthy lab values and be in better shape than they look. All you who shame, intentional or not, need to take some time to respect that. If you are saying these things to yourself, in terms of self-talk, just shut up. You aren’t helping your own cause. Take some time to problem solve and dig into if you’re healthy or not.

So how do I do that? Take the time to look at those things in your diet that should be cut down or eliminated. How do you know this? Well, you talk to your provider and get help with what will make you healthy, not what will make you look like a twig. Make those small changes one at a time and keep that change until it is fixed. Then the next and the next. Soon you will have a better diet, and it will not pose the challenge to your habits that fad diets will. Above all, talk to your provider before starting any diet, even a fairly straight forward one. They will help you achieve your goals safely and provide you with the support you need to get to your goal. They also look at the important physiological stuff to make sure your body doesn’t get thrown out of balance.

Well, the hellhounds need food. They’ve been talking about starting the Eato Diet. Off to tend the castle before they Eato everything in sight…