Ok, I’ll say it and if you are one of those nurses, shame on you, no you know you need to quit doing it, now. If you can’t be that person then maybe you need to retire or find a new job but then you wouldn’t get to be the little control freaks that you are, now would you? It is this kind of crap that has mired nurses from being treated as professionals. You are the cause of poor retention in our profession. This stress is the cause of errors in these otherwise conscientious providers.  You exploit this stress to bully them and paint an unfair picture and are horrible examples of nurses or even humans.

Look I get it you have been a nurse for a hundred years, and you are the queen (king) of the roost (statistically it is women, but men can do this as well).  You want to do it the way you did when you graduated with Florence from nursing school, and you decide since another nurse does it differently and more up to date, they are wrong. What kind of a message does that send about our profession?  We are treated as handmaidens and sub-professionals because of this territorial behavior, and it drives away quality people.  I know that if you are like this, you have already stopped reading because honestly, anything that suggests a different way of thinking or progression away from your control freakiness can’t be right.  I also know that “this is how we were treated and it made us good nurses.”  No, it did not.  It made you a poor example of your “profession” because honestly, your behavior is anything but professional.

Let’s take Jay (not real name, not even close); this is one screwed up the situation from the get-go.  Jay is competitive for a job and because of obligations to the employer due to a scholarship he will be placed by the organization.  In this organization, he was placed in an opening that the nurse manager wanted someone else (read her friend) in and was vocal from day one. Unfortunately, he met head-on with micromanagement and requirements that he jumps through more hoops than any other nurse practitioner that worked in that facility.  He had his life made miserable by this micromanagement in the hope that he would move on so that the manager could hire her friend. These requirements included him having to co-sign a physician (who was unaware) on all his notes when he has full practice authority, and that is not required in that environment. She insisted on evaluating him when she had no place to so as he is not assigned to nursing and the nurse manager is the clinic manager and has no real authority.  When he challenged her requirements, he met with more bullshit, this time involving this nurse manager and her cronies.  Thankfully he could find a stable position in the organization and was able to leave this position.  He is in a situation that is functional and allows him to practice. I imagine the clinic manager is happy that she can get her friend in that position.  Hmmm…you know there is a retention problem with providers and that providers can make bank away from an abusive system? What does this say to that new provider and how does he properly acculturate? Simple answer he won’t. Also, from the management aspect, training a new person drives up personnel costs.  Not professional in a profession that continually wants to be recognized as such yet insists on acting like this is a junior high kickball team.

Take Larry (really you think I am putting in the real name, dude can kick my ass).  Larry is a vet who had to work while in graduate school like so many of us do.  He had to learn with his disability and work with the same disability which was a huge task for him that required a lot of brain power. As is typical with this disability he had to list things out and struggled to stay task-oriented. He did ok but had some minor foul-ups that he had to talk to the boss regularly about.  No one tried to work with him, and his disability and the manager failed to realize that the unit staffs’ actions were creating problems with and were targeted at his disability.  Once the disability was disclosed to the staff they began to intentionally use this disability to make it tougher for him.  (Hey, not making this up I watched it first hand) Thankfully things concluded with a change to another nursing unit, but the manager made sure a lukewarm eval followed him to the next unit.  Now after this person became an NP, the old manager shared that info socially with an NP on the new unit that is prone to gossip.  In this case, the manager was male (yeah girls door swings both ways since the old manager and the gossip are males) and shared with a male gossip.  Little known to the person, he had the black cloud from his previous job floating over his head and spent the first two months wondering why everyone looks at him funny.

Ok, so where does this take us?  Well first off does either sound very professional?  Sound like a place you would want to work? NO (there helped you if you struggled).  So why the hell do we insist on doing this?

Because it is junior high, you and Karen are friends and having her work for you will be fun regardless of whether she meets the qualifications or not.  So, you and Karen and Carla are all together working, and you have your little clique and feel superior and feel like the only standards in the building should be yours and screw hospital policy; ya’ know because you are all buds…Sound like junior high?  Except You, Karen, and Carla are in your 40s.  Along the way, six people in the department have moved to different opportunities (that’s what you tell everyone while under your breath you have other comments about them and are pissed because they got away from your control).

Jay and Larry are both quality employees.  Jay was caught in a fiefdom where the manager wanted everything even if it broke with policy or violated best practices. Larry was caught in poor management, period. Jay, Larry, and others will likely walk away in an industry that can ill afford to lose personnel, let alone quality.  Healthcare costs reflect this turnover as there is a great deal of cash expended to hire one new licensed provider.

In the end, the answer is you are in a position and are being an entitled ass. No position gives you ultimate authority (yeah even him too). Be a leader and a mentor, not an idiot with a title.

The bats are taking a look at the bike today…they all look so cute in their little bat helmets.  You look better in your helmet when you ride, be safe out there.