Gym coach’s solution to everything. Talking in back? You and that blabbermouth Reggie take a lap. Limb falling off? Take a lap. Couldn’t perform in the sack last Saturday? Yeah, take a damn lap.

With all that exercise one would think that kids would be in better shape? You would be wrong. Anyone remember gym? Anyone? Yeah, it sucked. I will be honest I got my ass kicked almost every day because first I was the new kid and second even though it was never said, it was assumed I was gay. Great fun and very inconducive to fitness when one hates participating in a class that badly. The funny part here is that research showed this as part of the reason that gym class is relatively useless when it comes to overall fitness. The “traditional” gym class is seen to increase truancy and discipline rates. In other words, mostly meaningless in its current form. Color me shocked.

The most common problem noted in the survey is bullying (duh). In the middle school age group, this problem was cited the most as the reason for not participating or ditching the class altogether. So useless? For the most part yes. Yeah, yeah, I know take a lap.

When the “No Child Left Behind” law was signed into effect, this effectively ended recess and made gym class a lower priority than it already was. Recess was cited as better because the free play allows children to, “get the silly out” and otherwise expend energy. It is also great for getting kids fun, meaningful exercise. PE needs a reboot (and has for years).

So, before I have some guy in coaches shorts with a whistle yelling at me or sending me hate mail, we have known all along that the class is more about regimented activity and has nothing to do with physical fitness or health. I know that PE teachers often are stuck trying to make the class work with little support and only their ideas of activities that are easy to manage.

The fix as it would seem, and I agree it is to focus on meaningful activity as well as things like nutrition and health maintenance. I agree wholeheartedly here since I think if there is one thing, we should take from our formative years is a healthy idea of fitness that includes nutrition.

There is no doubt in my mind that kids need activity at an early age. We are creatures of habit as humans and physical activity as well as nutrition from a young age would give folks a building block that would help with the obesity issue in this country. Less obesity, fewer health issues, fewer healthcare costs. So easy even a caveman can do it, right? Also, wrong. The simple answer here is the time in the curriculum. Also, with health maintenance, you run afoul of all the “moral outrage” by parents and religious freakshows when you teach reasonable reproductive health and sex education. This is the part I never understood, work through this with me. So, I shouldn’t learn about sex, but yet I am shoved in a locker room of 30 teenaged boys and the “coach.” We aren’t even a little concerned about that, but we don’t teach sex ed. Makes no sense to me, except taking a shower after exercise.

Well, we need a solution, not that anyone has the will to make it happen, but we need a real solution.

Combining health class and the traditional PE class would be a good thing. Focus less on dodgeball and more on life long health habits. Giving kids an early start on nutrition, proper basic nutrition, will serve them well later in life.

Offering a variety of exercise options and teaching those options is also important. While dodgeball can be fun for some, folks like yours truly when I was younger lacked the upper body strength to throw the ball with any real ability. So, you end up a target and instantly the game is no fun. This is where the system currently fails. I walk off, go smoke behind the bleachers, lose out on building any fitness at all.

What’s all this rambling mean? Well first take some time to figure out decent cardio and strength exercises that can be accomplished by kids in the class. If team play is involved look to split groups up by strength and ability (yeah, I know and spend a million on the extra staff). Teach a real health class and focus on those things that make someone healthy. I remember my health class in high school was like a weird A&P class with very little do to about anything. What I should have been learning about are health maintenance and reproductive health. I mean I know I have a penis, it would be nice if I had some formal education on how to properly use it (save the jokes you know what I mean…). All of this plays into an early sense of health and fitness and hopefully less obesity. It also saves the bullying and helps with insecurity.

One last thing. We treat this kind of change with disdain in this country because “we all grew up with these classes and we are fine, what are you doing giving out participation ribbons again?” No. This will likely be said by a dude that needs to take a walk longer than from the chair to the fridge. The “good ole days” weren’t better than new ideas. PE is broke and needs to be fixed.

Anyways, the bed calls…