This week was my birthday. Since I am no longer an 8-year-old, birthdays are quite often a few to a lot of happy birthday wishes and maybe a dinner out. Nothing that isn’t appreciated but it is not also required. Regardless I honestly took an unscheduled and unannounced a few days off from everything as you may have noticed from my previous posts.
This is of course after I sent Senator Maureen Walsh a dozen packs of playing cards and generally letting my angst out.
So completely related let’s talk about babies. We spend a lot of energy and political capital seeing that they come into this world (although we have an extremely high infant mortality rate 6.2/1000 live births). We are ranked in the bottom 20% of what is called the “civilized” world. For a country that is hell bent on bringing a baby into the world and preventing a mother from making effective decisions, that is sad. So, what is not happening that is causing such a failure on our part?
Well, politics aside (because we all know how fun a conversation about family planning is). The correct answer is good medical follow up, well child checks, vaccinations, parental counseling (think owner’s manual that gives parents safety and guidance before birth and then re-enforces it post-partum). What is insurance prepared to pay? Not a hell of a lot on the preventative side, although they do pay for some check-ups. What is needed are necessary well child checks that are “close” to milestones. The best guidelines are; Newborn, 3-5 days, 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 24, 30 Months then at 3 and 4 years old. Dang, starting to think here that a kiddo may be more responsibility than a new car. Of course, they are and for a society that puts a lot in, at least the concept of, children we should also be a force for positive healthcare for children. Although we certainly do not act like it.
I am going to piss off the free-range parent, you know the one that had the kid but has no time for them and is absolutely of the mindset the kid can take care of themselves (or better that we can legislate adulthood away, so you don’t have to be a parent). {buzz} wrong! Thanks for playing. You do, and as a parent, you are responsible for providing them that care. Adequate childcare means that you devote time and attention to that child and one of the best ways is adequate well baby checks (among other things). Oh, I know you don’t really have time for it since you have a busy life and decided well let’s have a child without the consequence of what (at least) the next 18 years would be like. There is a parental responsibility to all aspects of their lives, and this is only one of them. So Karen put down your cell phone, drag your husband to these visits, get your kids vaccinated, and talk with your provider about your concerns. It is essential to provide care and upkeep to these parts of your family. This is where we start to fail. There are inadequate family planning and no discussion of the care and feeding of a child. As a society, we have tried very hard to wipe this kind of necessity out.
I will point out that if we made as much effort on childhood issues as we did on abortion and made inadequate childcare a cause of screaming at each other, we would have lower infant mortality in this country as well as maternal mortality. The current infant mortality rate is 6.2 per 1000 live births (as stated before, added for emphasis and because I feel bitchy today). This does not count any baby that was a stillbirth (born dead, sorry no nice way to put it). I am ok with preventing abortion IF we also adequately fund the care of children after they are born. I know this sounds odd for me because I am much more vested in a woman’s right to control her body. Guys, you have way more control of your body, so before you yell at the screen, let me give you an example.
You can’t get a boner to have sex, so you go to your doctor and boom, a script for Viagra or Cialis that boom your insurance covers. When you go to the pharmacy, it is cheerfully filled and no further questions. Women are different guys so take a listen.
A woman who wants birth control usually undergoes a pregnancy test (ok this is a good idea) and sometimes a pelvic exam. Guys think about lying on a table, legs in the air and the provider sticking a device that looks like duckbills inside you. This device is usually metal and cold, and then after it is in, it is opened wide enough to visualize your internal parts. That’s not all since a sample is taken and then duckbills are removed, and before you can get up, the doctor puts his fingers in and compresses your pubic area to determine if there are cysts present. Once the provider is done he is then a lot like you; he tosses you some tissue and says clean yourself off and get dressed. Sounds like a blast, right? After that, if the provider is ok with it, they prescribe birth control, but wait, if he has “objections” morally to it, he can refuse. Wait, what? Yup, he can, and he is backed by the current administration’s HHS who has reinforced the religious or moral objections. The script in hand, home free right? Nope, two more hurdles to clear. First is your insurance; your company may object to them providing you with birth control for the same “moral” reasoning as above. Last you have the pharmacist who gets the same privilege. Currently, there is no legal requirement for a referral to a pharmacy that will fill the script, and this is the same with providers, although it is a matter of ethics for them to do it. Finally, the woman has the protection from getting preggers.
The point here is that women are given few options and lots of hurdles in family planning and all you have to do is fire your DNA around which is no way to start the process of raising a family. It seems from where I sit that it is a lot more about firing out the kids then actually planning and caring for them.
Bottom line, care about the fetus sure. Do the things that make your pregnancy successful. Then take care of the child and demand that politicians fight for the same. Love your kids and take of them or elect not to have them, plain and simple.
Be kind to each other and be careful.