(Part 1 — The Physical Cost)
Part of the Scars of Service series
One of the things that bothered me the most early in my relationship with my late husband was something he said many times:
Veterans act entitled. They think they’re owed something.
You knew what you were getting into when you joined the military.
He wasn’t alone in that sentiment.
Many people looking at the military from the outside say the same thing. Sometimes they say it loudly and publicly despite having absolutely no concept of what military enlistment actually entails—or what kinds of medical and psychological damage can come from it.
Let me be clear about something.
Not everyone who joins the military—even someone who serves a long and distinguished career—comes out fine.
Some veterans leave service with minor conditions related to their time in uniform. Some are catastrophically injured. Most fall somewhere in between.
And my personal favorite comment always comes from someone who has never served:
“You knew what you were getting yourself into.”
Actually, no. Most of us had no idea.
Sure, we grew up seeing movies and television shows about the military. But those portrayals are not reality. I can tell you from firsthand experience that the Army—or any branch of the military—is a very different world than what Hollywood shows.
And your recruiter certainly doesn’t portray the absolute horrors that war or military life can bring.
Before anyone jumps on me for saying that, I should disclose something: I was a recruiter.
Recruiting command wants bodies. That’s the job. That’s the mission.
The military is also fundamentally different from any civilian profession. From the moment you sign the paperwork, you are told plainly that you may die in the line of duty.
There is no other profession quite like that.
People often argue that police officers or firefighters face the same danger. Those professions absolutely involve risk, and I mean no disrespect to them at all.
But there is a difference between facing danger from time to time and standing across a line from an entire army whose purpose is to kill you.
Basic training—or boot camp—is another thing people misunderstand.
It is designed to change you.
It’s not a gentle introduction to military culture. It is eight to thirteen weeks of intense stress designed to strip away civilian identity and replace it with military discipline and group cohesion.
One news report described it bluntly:
Break the civilian out of you.
And it works.
If you’ve never spent much time around veterans, you may not realize how different the experience of military service can make a person.
During a military career, some service members may have relatively easy assignments. For them, the most stressful part of their service might have been basic training.
Others experience something entirely different.
Many military jobs involve working around vehicles and equipment designed for war. These machines are built to destroy enemies—but they can destroy the people operating them just as easily.
In my time in service, I witnessed training accidents that were as horrific as anything that happens in combat.
That’s just the physical side of things.
Recently, the Washington Post published a piece questioning fraud in VA disability claims.
Full disclosure: I used to work for the Department of Veterans Affairs.
The VA is extremely cautious about potential fraud within the disability system.
In fact, one reason disability claims take so long is that they are heavily researched and verified. At no point does the VA simply look at a claim and say, “Sure, sounds good.”
In many cases, veterans who are permanently and totally disabled have had to fight through multiple appeals before their claims were granted.
That process takes time.
The article mentioned things like acne and scars being counted in disability evaluations. To someone unfamiliar with military injuries, that might sound trivial.
But scars can come from burns, chemical exposures, shrapnel wounds, and gunfire. Those injuries often require care and treatment long after the original trauma.
People focusing on the possibility of fraud often latch onto something minor in the disability schedule without understanding the underlying cause of the injury.
I once read a statistic—one I haven’t been able to independently verify—but it lines up with a conversation I had with someone who worked in VA disability claims.
Out of roughly a million veterans reviewed, fewer than 400 cases of fraud were discovered after disability had already been granted.
The review process is thorough and designed to catch problems before approval.
But public narratives about fraud still shape how people view veterans receiving disability benefits.
That skepticism can lead people to question whether veterans should receive disability compensation at all.
In my case, I would argue the answer is very clearly yes.
If I hadn’t been exposed to toxic burn pits during my service, I likely wouldn’t have suffered the multiple strokes I’ve experienced.
I wouldn’t have sleep apnea.
I wouldn’t have reactive airway disease.
Those are just the physical consequences of my time in uniform.
Again, not every veteran leaves the military with disabilities. Many do walk away healthy.
But certain military occupations—especially combat arms—are extraordinarily hard on the human body.
This is only part of the story.
In Part Two, I’m going to talk about the psychological disabilities suffered by veterans. Those injuries can be just as devastating as physical ones, yet society often dismisses them as weakness.
They aren’t weakness.
They are wounds.
And regardless of the disabilities I carry now, I know something important:
My dog and my mom empower me.
They don’t criticize me.