I have been talking a lot lately about magical thinking and my issues with it. I want to be clear on things; your faith and spirituality are, of course, your business. When they become my business, it is often tough for me to adjust to or deal with. Here is why this pertains to medicine.

While many pray to hope for a miracle, it is quite often science, not circumstance that affects the cure or treatment of a particular malady. Your prayers and your positive engagement towards another human is the most valuable part of your faith and prayers.

Too often, folks move on and decide that their spirituality/religion works for them, and they think you are just raring for a new life governed by their faith. Yeah, not so much there gods gentle people, but thanks for the offer. The problem is that quite often, we have religious “morality” forced on all of us, and you get things like legislation that limits a woman’s freedom to control her body. THIS desire to control is also the moment that I take issue with spirituality/religion/faith/magical thinking.

That’s it. Science and medicine are going to do the most to treat or cure your malady. You should expect this approach when you see your provider.

So let’s talk about a post I saw on God’s blog. Obviously not the “real” God, read above. This dovetails into the podcast this weekend. A woman sent out a tweet where she talked about her OB-GYN requiring a signature from her husband so that she could have a tubal ligation.

For those of you not aware a tubal ligation is, many call it “having your tubes tied.” It is a surgical procedure that permanently closes or blocks your fallopian tubes. Thus female sterilization. All the parts are there; the surgeon severs the fallopian tubes to prevent the sperm from reaching the egg.

Having the husband sign a permission slip for the wife to have the procedure is wrong on so many levels. The first of those levels are, why should anyone be signing for permission for a grown adult’s signature? Should the husband and wife discuss it? Maybe, but I would challenge that if it is what the woman wants, then it should be her decision in the end with no “permission” from the husband.

While it has become vogue to say, “this is an example of the patriarchy,” it truly is. This narrow thinking is a result of both the “magical thinking” above. Much of male dominance comes from centuries of indoctrination in the idea men are dominant. Shit for a long-time the woman was property. Don’t believe me? Look at the concept of the dowry, which is nothing more than pay me for my daughter. This thinking stems from the “magical thinking” thing.

Hell, even in the 70s, my mother had to have my dad’s permission to open a bank account. So the concept of having your husband’s or father’s approval is not that far in the past.

Well, this seems to be a holdover from that, back to our backward OB-GYN.

Should a couple talk about life-changing decisions like a tubal ligation or vasectomy? Absolutely. Not because of the patriarchy, because healthy relationships involve communications. Regardless, a woman does have final say over her body, with or without her husband’s acquiescence. The knowledge can be helpful if one partner wants children, and the other does not. I have seen marriages end over a difference in opinion of having kids. Enough said, most importantly, it is STILL the woman’s decision.

Since many providers are in the habit of training new medical students/residents, they impart their “wisdom” (meaning good and bad habits) to these students. So like other patriarchal things, this is passed to the next generation of practitioners.
The sad part of this whole thing is that the OB-GYN mentioned in the tweet is female, who claimed it was a policy of the group practice. Hmmm.

The group practice is also violating HIPPA. It is unlawful to give any protected health information to a 3rd party without consent. Yep, not even your spouse can legally know (from the practitioner) medical history or any medical procedure done. Once again, it is good to talk to your partner about these things, but it is not mandatory (nor should that change).

The tl;dr here is, look we all have one very personal thing, our bodies. It is ultimately ours to do with as we want. It does not belong to anyone else, and no one should tell us how to treat our bodies. Obviously, as providers, we do give the risks and benefits of a procedure or medication; however, in the end, it’s all you. The only person required to sign a consent should be the patient. Parents, of course, if a minor, however, there are things a minor has self-direction. Get that through your melons, especially those who feel they need to legislate anything. Women should have the final say over their bodies. Even if it means the woman wants to abort fetuses or want a tubal ligation randomly.

I probably better stop, all the right-wing fainting couches are full with the concept that women should have any control. Don’t believe me? Look at the religious culture war (another famous phrase) against abortion. This almost maniacal movement by anti-choice legislators and members of Congress to place more and more restrictions on a woman’s body, because? “Magical thinking.”

Anyhow, be the kind of person your dog and your mom hope you are.