Longshot’s 1st rule of the internet never read the comments. Nurseferatu’s First rule of blogging, do not look at site traffic. Both will leave you disappointed and questioning your existence.
When Chris and I spoke on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, we talked very candidly about not paying attention to numbers. He has been blogging for a bit now and does not have the level of site traffic that you would expect a 10-year blogger to have. It still is disappointing to put together a thoughtful piece to have no traffic on it for a week. I was just wow.
Does that mean I am shaming you or trying to shame you into reading my stuff, Damn right I am? However, with no post traffic, it would seem a little harsh to guilt anyone. If you want me to write about a topic, you are more than welcome to contact me through the FB page, or the email is in the comments. Otherwise, I will write what I am feeling at that moment.
I have no intention of stopping; I find the research that I do for the pieces I write improves my knowledge as an NP and keeps my writing skill up. Igor once told me before he left that, “I write like someone in the profession, but lack that last bit of writing flair. He was correct; a blog is an evolution and not something that you sit down and monetize your first day and be able to retire the second. Once again, for the folks in the back, not stopping, not revamping, still podcasting, may increase that, we’ll see.
The blog is just like my career has been, no not empty or half-assed, but it has gone by mostly unnoticed by more than only a handful of those close to me. I don’t win the hospital’s high awards or the “star” award or anything else. I am just a face in the crowd of providers that works day in, day out. No prize is as distinguished as being that face in the group. Yep, it took me years of letting myself be disappointed when I wasn’t even nominated, and on the one occasion I was nominated, I was brushed aside for someone else. Now I would prefer not to be even considered, and honestly, I do have better things to do than winning an award. What are those things? A healthy work-life balance and realizing that while those fabulous accolades exist inside the walls of the hospital, and enjoyable life exists outside the walls.
Being that face in the crowd is by far more critical than winning all the awards. Being the team player, supporting your other team members, having their backs, and being a trustworthy source day-to-day. Having a freaking life that isn’t absorbed by just waiting for a call to pick up OT. Realizing that ya know what, screw it, I need to take a day here and there or better to schedule periods off and not just kill yourself for that long vacation that sounds great, and by your second day back, it feels like you should never have stepped away.
I fought hard to achieve my degree. It was not by any means easy. I struggled not only with the fact that it had been years since I cracked a book; my disability made it difficult to learn and to take tests. Tests are stringent, but I made it. I also learned life balance, by the sheer fact that I was sick and tired of reading NP texts, taking tests and sacrificing beautiful days to sit and read books.
I took time on a school break to finish a covered patio so that I could at least be outside while I read endless nursing texts. Yep, built that sucker myself with next to no help. Of course, I worked my ass off when I wasn’t at my full-time job to get it done, but it stands today as a great outdoor space.
I know, where is the chase, and how do I cut to it?
Don’t do any job, especially as a provider, as the focus of your life. Who cares about the awards (yeah, it would be fun to get that call, but the importance has long faded)? Be a healthy front-line worker. Take the time to do something more than being a work slave. In the end, your performance will improve and achieve less impact from the grind. When I am off work, I have way more to look forward to than just a bed. You should strive to do this too.
I know that some of this seemed a little “poor me” at the beginning, and maybe it was, to a point. I want a million readers and 70k hits a day, yadda yadda yadda. But, if I can reach one person and help them find one piece of the larger puzzle, I don’t feel like I just threw my time away.
Be the kind of person your mom and your dog think you are.