This is a rehash of a previous piece worth reposting here Part of the Scars of Service series
In my previous piece, The Future They Were So Worried About I asked why society seems so concerned about the futures of those accused of sexual violence while so often overlooking the futures of survivors. This is the other side of that conversation: what happens when the institutions entrusted with delivering justice appear to forget the people they’re supposed to protect?
There are seasons when trauma feels louder.
I’ve written a lot about politics lately, and I don’t particularly enjoy doing it. But sometimes public testimony collides directly with personal history. Sometimes what is said in a hearing room reverberates through the nervous systems of people who have already lived through enough.
Recent testimony by the U.S. Attorney General regarding the handling of cases connected to Jeffrey Epstein felt like one of those moments. The Secretary of War is another example of a poor leader. The alpha male bro is useless as fuck
During the hearing, a representative invited several of Epstein’s victims to attend. He asked for an apology. He questioned why individuals identified in documents associated with Epstein were not being investigated. The Attorney General characterized the exchange as political theatrics.
The Department of War (Defense) has also completely obliterated many of the military sexual assault safeguards put in place. Alpha bros seem to enjoy rape…guess they feel more “manly” fuck them.
If you’re a survivor of sexual assault, that word lands like a slap.
“Theatrics” suggests performance. “Theatrics” suggests exaggeration. “Theatrics” suggests that the suffering of real people is merely a matter of political optics.
And that is where I struggle.
Investigate. Period.
I don’t care who is on any list.
If someone is credibly suspected of committing sexual assault, whether against an adult or a child, those allegations deserve investigation. If the evidence supports prosecution, they should be prosecuted. Full stop. That standard should apply regardless of political affiliation, wealth, celebrity, or public office.
Of course, appearing in documents associated with Epstein does not, by itself, establish criminal wrongdoing. Due process matters, and it should matter to everyone.
But when accountability appears selective, the message to survivors is unmistakable: justice is conditional.
It begins to look less like caution and more like protection.
And that perception, fair or not, erodes trust in the very institutions survivors are told to rely upon.
The Cost of an Empathy Deficit
I want to share a passage that captured something I’ve struggled to articulate:
“I wonder how a human being finds themselves sitting in that chair in front of the watching world in a moment of such gravity, so completely bereft of empathy, so seemingly unencumbered by other people’s suffering, and so strident in the face of simple accountability.
But as the father of a daughter, I want you to know that I fully detest what you are doing to so many other people’s children right now.
I abhor your callous disregard for the daughters who stood courageously before you today, whose eyes you did not have the dignity to look into; women whose cavernous hell you know full well, because you’ve pored over it countless times in words, photos, and videos.
It sickens me to my core to know that thousands of survivors, girls and young women not unlike my daughter, have experienced unspeakable horrors and are finding in you, not a fierce and willing advocate, not a steadfast warrior who will deliver them justice, but a shame-throwing avatar of the men who brutalized them.”
— Attribution to be added
That passage isn’t partisan. It’s parental. It’s human.
And it resonates because empathy should never be optional in positions of power.
Survivors Are Not Political Optics
As a survivor, what unsettles me most isn’t even the political calculus. It’s the tone.
When institutions weaken sexual harassment policies, when reporting pathways quietly disappear, and when sexual assault becomes something debated through party loyalty rather than moral clarity, survivors hear one thing:
“You are inconvenient.”
That message compounds harm. It reinforces the very fears that prevent so many survivors from coming forward in the first place.
And before anyone suggests that this argument is one-sided, it isn’t. If someone from the opposing political party committed sexual assault, investigate them and prosecute them when the evidence warrants it.
Accountability isn’t red or blue. The door swings both ways.
Justice cannot depend on who benefits.
What Survivors Actually Need
We don’t need theatrics, performative outrage, or selective investigations. We need something considerably less complicated and infinitely more meaningful.
We need:
- Consistent enforcement of the law.
- Transparent, impartial investigations.
- Policies that protect victims rather than institutional reputations.
- Leaders who understand that empathy is not weakness.
And yes, male survivors exist.
They are frequently overlooked, dismissed, or mocked. Consider the experiences described by the Coreys of 1980s Hollywood, or the men who have spoken about sexual misconduct and abuses of power in the entertainment industry.
Male survivors face many of the same obstacles as female survivors, often compounded by expectations about masculinity that make disclosure even more difficult.
Silence protects predators. It always has.
And when society treats male victimization as something embarrassing, amusing, or somehow less serious, we contribute to that silence.
Sexual assault isn’t a competition over who suffers more. Every survivor deserves to be heard, and every credible allegation deserves appropriate consideration.
Ten Minutes
I’m not advocating harm against anyone.
But sometimes I wonder what would change if the people making these decisions could spend just ten minutes inside a survivor’s nervous system.
Ten minutes of hypervigilance. Ten minutes of intrusive memories. Ten minutes of shame that never belonged to them in the first place.
Ten minutes of understanding what it’s like to carry something you never asked for, sometimes for decades, while the rest of the world carries on as though nothing happened.
Perhaps then the word “theatrics” would feel a little different.
Perhaps empathy would become something more than a convenient talking point.
I Am Tired of Feeling Less Safe
I don’t like writing political posts. I truly don’t.
But when the nation’s top law enforcement official appears dismissive of concerns about sexual assault investigations, it lands personally. It makes me, and I suspect many other survivors, feel less safe.
I spent years in professions where protecting people was part of the job. I understand that investigations require evidence, that accusations must be evaluated fairly, and that justice cannot simply mean punishing whoever happens to be unpopular.
But I also understand that the people entrusted with protecting the public have an obligation to treat victims and survivors with dignity.
That shouldn’t require a particular political affiliation. It shouldn’t require a personal connection to someone who has been assaulted. And it certainly shouldn’t require the survivor to demonstrate that their suffering is politically convenient.
Justice should not depend on allegiance. Protection should not depend on polling. Empathy should not depend on party.
Don’t just say you support survivors.
Mean it.